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Vol. 19 No. 16 • March 31-April 6, 2005
GET IT STRAIGHT POTHEADS
By Matt Mernagh
Silly stoners, marijuana isn’t legal. Bud isn’t
even decriminalized. There is so much
confusion regarding the state of marijuana that
the police are taking advantage of stoner
stupidity to bust the legally naďve who happen
to smoke up in public. A fine example is my
friend Indiana Indica who proclaimed to an
investigating officer, “No stem. No seed. What I
got here is just pure weed.” Sadly old Indiana
had more than the police tolerable level of
marijuana on him. He was dragged away
screaming, “It’s Legal! It’s Legal!”
Marijuana possession is not legal, but it’s not
illegal either. Confused? So are the politicians.
How did old Indiana get caught? Well, he forgot
the catchphrase that could have prevented him
from spending a night in the pokey. Even those
suffering from short term memory loss can
remember, “Thirty and under was their
blunder.” That is how much grass a pothead
can have in their possession without being
charged. Anything over thirty grams and it’s off
to jail.
Purchasing marijuana remains an offense. In
the historic ruling in Ontario that made 30
grams permissible, the judge didn’t take into
account where a terminally or chronically ill
person was to get the medicinal marijuana.
Many in the movement refer to this as, “Legal
Medicine, No Legal Source.” Health Canada,
under the direction of MP Alan Rock was
supposed to be the supplier, but HC continues
to claim in court that they’re in the drug
approval business, not the drug supplying
business. Regardless, trafficking in dope is
illegal.
The police are using this judgmental oversight
to pop stoners carrying more than one dime
bag of grass on them for trafficking. Stoners
are advised to keep all their grass in one baggy
to avoid getting a trafficking charge. Clearly
stepping over the line are the horror stories of
cops arresting a pack of stoners for trafficking
when they’ve passed a joint around the circle.
Cultivating remains a crime too. There’s no
such thing as growing pot for personal use. A
friend of Indiana’s claimed that 285 plants
growing in his basement were for personal
use to the police when they raided his home.
Police might be tolerating 30 grams of grass,
but growers have felt their wrath causing a
severe draught in Ontario. The epidemic has
gone so far that Toronto compassion clubs
are limiting purchases to five grams and under.
A severe drought of quality marijuana seems to
be in effect for most of Ontario. Hopefully the
fall harvest will come in and alleviate the stress
of going without.
Stoners should note that these legal
technicalities only apply to Ontario. There are
several provinces that still have police more
than willing to bust people for simple
possession. The prince of pot, Marc Emery
(owner of Marc Emery Seeds Direct, publisher
of Cannabis Culture) went on a summer
crusade across Canada to free the weed.
Victories in Prince Edward Island and Nova
Scotia have cops backing off simple
possession there, but British Columbia, where
a judge struck down the possession law, has
cops remaining ever vigilant.
Sadly most stoners make up a subculture that,
put bluntly, is the slowest bunch of dummies
around. They spout off nonsensical shit about
how weed is legal when in reality they should
be paying tribute to the dedicated individuals
who fought the law. At 4:19, a minute before the
international stoner hour of 4:20, I suggest a
moment of silence for the handful of activists
who have successfully made a paradise for all
of us.
[BY MATT MERNAGH]
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